What is the story of the painting, how did it progress?
I usually do not have a fixed plan before I start painting, the story of the painting is not yet set out. In many cases, I am inspired by someone’s beautiful pose, a look on someone’s face or a theme that I would like to work with. The painting developes through the thoughts and feelings welling up inside me during the whole process of painting. Therefore Equilibrium is a painting with many layers.
In this work, I started out with the pose of the woman and the doves I positioned above her to create the image of them flying off. One day, when I was painting, one of my dearest friends phoned me. She had just lost her mother-in-law after a debilitating illness. After hanging up, a feeling of loss kept lingering within me.
Life consists of extremes, such as life and death. Within those extremes, we have to create balance in our lives, the balance between light and darkness.
We all experience beautiful, happy, sad, ecstatic, harsh or intense moments in our lives. And sometimes you are in a place where you can’t get up, as if a deep emptiness takes hold of you and you can’t find a way out. You feel like running away from the obstacles life is throwing at you, just like the figure in my painting. But the beautiful, happy and positive moments you experienced in life, as well as the sad, harsh and intense ones, made you who you are and can pull you out. Your life themes -the red threads-, the sparks of hope and positivity, the moments that inspire you to get up again, are symbolized by the white doves. All of this is part of the story of the painting.
I changed the colors and textures of the background several times. Because they had to match the feelings I wanted to express in the painting; my feelings. For this reason, the painting hung on my living-room wall for a long time; I felt the story of the painting wasn’t finished yet. Whenever I do this, it allows me to ‘live’ with the painting, and the moment when I feel I can continue where I left off will come naturally.
Finally, I added a layer to the background in which I carved my thoughts and feelings while the paint was still wet. You can’t make out the words; they were written ‘in flow’. Besides, it is not my intention to affect the observer with my words. The painting may arouse certain feelings, emotions and thoughts within you. These feelings are different for every person.
Life is all about finding balance, an equilibrium.